Monday, March 18, 2013

Mirage

www.cardomain.com



Credit: abominable.bathtub of pD

We had been together for years.

Time may pass as slowly as the leaves fall in early autumn… like the
icy zephyr that blows in the middle of winter... like the distant
echoes in spring's bubbling brooks... and like the lazy rays of the
summer sun. It announces itself in the most unforeseen moments,
vanishing in the next instant, and yet forsakes the heart with
solitude, profound scars and lingering memoirs of what used to be…

And so does love.





"Caitlin, where are you?!" I murmured impatiently to myself as I
wandered about the children's playground.

It was twilight, and the setting sun cast crimson rays all over the
darkening sky, making it look like traces of blood were painted on the
heavens.

I dialed her number again for the umpteenth time on my celphone, but
it was just like the earlier futile attempts. The operator kept saying
that she was out of coverage area, but I knew that was impossible. She
would never go away without telling me. She must've just dropped her
cel at some foreign place, that's all.

I waited by the swings, and soon I was looking at my past. Our past.
The memories of unfathomable bliss and forgotten promises whispered
incessantly.

I loved her with all my heart and soul, and she loved me with the same
ardor. We vowed that nothing would ever come between us. Our parents
respected our verdict and we were one of the fortunate couples to
attain their parents' consent.

Each day we would meet at the children's playground. My family had
owned the land and had a public playing field built for the village
kids. But to the both us it was more than just a recreational area –
it was where we first laid eyes on each other, first fell in love, and
first kissed. And even though my mother sold the land to an architect
two years ago, our adamant hearts neglected their veto. My parents saw
our unyielding determination, so they left us alone. They said there
was nothing that could separate us. Nothing that could try and sever
the bond that has linked our souls and made our hearts beat as one.

Nothing.

"Caitlin, answer the phone, please!" I whispered urgently, dialing her
number once more, telling myself that if I were to be disappointed
again, I would give up. I gripped my cel, hoping against hope that I
was going to hear her soft, jolly voice.

Then it rang.

"Beep! Beep!"

I sprang up immediately from the swing I was sitting on.

"Beep! Beep!"

"Caitlin, what's wrong? Why aren't you answering? Where are you?" I
murmured again. I drew a deep breath and started pacing restlessly
back and forth.

"Sorry, but the number you dialed is out of coverage area. Please try
again later," came the operator's passive voice.

I stopped. I gritted my teeth and shut my cel.

What the heck was happening to her?!

I looked up at the sky and sighed in frustration.

Vesper. It was already dark; the starless sky was lit up merely by the
forlorn full moon. Motionless. Not one leaf was astir. Without even
thinking, I opened my cel and dialed.

She won't answer, so why was I still wasting my time trying to reach
her?! Maybe she would just clarify this occurrence tomorrow when we
meet. I mean, surely she'll be here. The cel was ringing eerily like
before, but my mind was somewhere else. Paranoia had seized me; my
thoughts were persuasive, stubborn, and monotonous.

She'll be here, I'm sure. She won't forget.

The ringing stopped.

Silence.

"Jake?"

Her voice was quiet, like she was thinking twice about talking to me.

"Caitlin? Caitlin, where are you? We're supposed to see each other,
right? Today's a special day, remember? Are you at home? Wait there
and I'll pick you up, okay?" I said hastily.

"Jake, please."

I knitted my brows. Her tone was sad, like her whole character was
overcome by grief. Beseeching, like she was on the verge of crying
.That was nothing like the girl I know and love.

"Did something happen? What's wrong?" I asked.

I heard her distant sigh.

"Please, Jake. You have to stop this; you have to forget about me."

"What are you talking about? I'll never forget you, you know that.
What's happening to you?! Why didn't you come here? Tell me, Caitlin!"

She hesitated for a moment, then spoke. Her words made me feel like I
was going straight down to hell.

"I'm sorry, Jake, but you'll never see me again. This is goodbye.
Forget about me. Forget about us. You have a life, don't ravage it.
I'll miss you. Goodbye."

Then her line went dead.

I was stunned. I couldn't move. Couldn't think. I didn't even notice
the white SUV that had parked beside my car in the sidewalk.

"Jake? Jake, it's time to go home."

I turned and felt like reality had come crashing down on me.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" I asked in a broken voice. I stopped
my tears before I could embarrass myself in front of my mother.

"Dear, it's already eight in the evening. We have to go home. And –
and Christoph has decided to gather all his workers tonight so they
could start their task on the square tomorrow. We have to leave
before-"

"Mom, why can't he just leave this playground alone?! It's better off
with no effluence from his 'dream hotel'! The children still play
around, and Caitlin and I meet here everyday!" I cut in, clenching my
fists at the mention of the architect's name. He hadn't given up.
Obstinate fool.

My mother heaved a somnolent sigh.

"Jake, you have to put Caitlin out of your mind, please. It's for your
own sake. She'll never come back."

I shook my head.

"No, she'll be back, Mom. She'll be back. She loves me. We promised. She-"

My mother gripped my shoulders and looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Jake, please! She's dead! Caitlin's been dead for two years! Forget
about her! She was found under a cliff where those men threw her!
Please, Jake! You're only hurting yourself!"

I shook my head vigorously again, the tears already brimming at the
corners of my eyes.

I couldn't speak.

She was waiting. She was waiting for me.

It happened two years ago. I was late, and she was waiting alone.
Three men saw her. The police said they were drunk. They forced her to
go with them. She was crying out my name, even though I couldn't hear
her. She was waiting for me.

Today was her death anniversary.

Without realizing it, I was weeping. Tears cascaded down my face.

Mother cried with me.

"No… no… She'll be here, Mom…" I whispered over and over again,
"She'll be here…"

I fell down on my knees.

I didn't want to believe. I didn't want to admit that we'll never be
with each other again. We promised we'll be together until the very
end of our dream. And I failed her. I couldn't even protect her.

It was my fault. All of it.

"Jake?" her voice was soft, like the gentle zephyr that brought her
lilac scent to me.

I looked up.

She was there.

She was by the swings. She was looking at me with a faraway look in her eyes.

She didn't forget.

"Caitlin…"

I don't care if they say I've gone insane. If it was the only way I
could see her again, hear her voice, and hold her in my arms, so be
it. Because I know she'll come back to me.

I love her. And she'll always be with me.

Always.



---†---

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