My mom only had one eye. I
hated her, she was such an
embarrassment. My mom ran a
small shop at a flea market. She
collected little weeds and such
to sell, anything for the money
we needed she was such an
embarrassment. There was this
one day during elementary
school. I remember that it was
field day, and my mom came. I
was so embarrassed. How could
she do this to me? I threw her a
hateful look and ran out. The
next day at school..."Your mom
only has one eye?!" and they
taunted me.
I wished that my mom would
just disappear from this world
so I said to my mom, "Mom,
why don't you have the other
eye?! You're only going to make
me a laughingstock. Why don't
you just die?" My mom did not
respond. I guess I felt a little
bad, but at the same time, it felt
good to think that I had said
what I'd wanted to say all this
time.
Maybe it was because my mom
hadn't punished me, but I didn't
think that I had hurt her feelings
very badly.
That night...I woke up, and went
to the kitchen to get a glass of
water. My mom was crying
there, so quietly, as if she was
afraid that she might wake me. I
took a look at her, and then
turned away. Because of the
thing I had said to her earlier,
there was something pinching
at me in the corner of my heart.
Even so, I hated my mother who
was crying out of her one eye.
So I told myself that I would
grow up and become successful,
because I hated my one-eyed
mom and our desperate
poverty.
Then I studied really hard. I left
my mother and came to Seoul
and studied, and got accepted in
the Seoul University with all the
confidence I had. Then, I got
married. I bought a house of my
own. Then I had kids, too. Now
I'm living happily as a successful
man. I like it here because it's a
place that doesn't remind me of
my mom.
This happiness was getting
bigger and bigger, when
someone unexpected came to
see me "What?! Who's this?!"...
It was my mother...Still with her
one eye. It felt as if the whole
sky was falling apart on me. My
little girl ran away, scared of my
mom's eye.
And I asked her, "Who are you? I
don't know you!!!" as if I tried
to make that real. I screamed at
her "How dare you come to my
house and scare my daughter!
Get out of here now!" And to this,
my mother quietly answered,
"oh, I'm so sorry. I may have
gotten the wrong address," and
she disappeared. Thank good
ness... she doesn't recognize me.
I was quite relieved. I told
myself that I wasn't going to
care, or think about this for the
rest of my life.
Then a wave of relief came upon
me... one day, a letter regarding
a school reunion came to my
house. I lied to my wife saying
that I was going on a business
trip. After the reunion, I went
down to the old shack, that I
used to call a house...just out of
curiosity there, I found my
mother fallen on the cold
ground. But I did not shed a
single tear. She had a piece of
paper in her hand.... it was a
letter to me.
My Son,
I think my life has been long
enough now. And... I won't visit
Seoul anymore... but would it be
too much to ask if I wanted you
to come visit me once in a
while? I miss you so much. And I
was so glad when I heard you
were coming for the reunion.
But I decided not to go to the
school.... For you... I'm sorry
that I only have one eye, and I
was an embarrassment for you.
You see, when you were very
little, you got into an accident,
and lost your eye. As a mother, I
couldn't stand watching you
having to grow up with only
one eye... so I gave you mine... I
was so proud of my son that
was seeing a whole new world
for me, in my place, with that
eye. I was never upset at you for
anything you did. The couple
times that you were angry with
me. I thought to myself, it's
because he loves me.' I miss the
times when you were still young
around me.
I miss you so much. I love you.
You mean the world to me. My
world shattered! Then I cried for
the person who lived for me. My
Mother.
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