SIX LESSONS OF LIFE
Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the
shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when
the doorbell rings. The wife
quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door,
there stands Bob, the next
door neighbor. Before she says
a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
$800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment,
the woman drops her towel
and stands naked in front of
Bob. After a few seconds, Bob
hands her $800 dollars and
leaves. The woman wraps back
up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to
the bathroom, her husband asks,… "Who was that?" "It was Bob
the next door neighbor," she
replies. "Great!" the husband
says, "Did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical
information pertaining to
credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may
be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration
clerk, and the manager are
walking to lunch when they
find an antique oil lamp. They
rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each
of you just one wish" "Me
first! Me first!" says the
administration clerk. "I want
to be in the Bahamas, driving
a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the
sales rep. "I want to be in
Hawaii,relaxing on the beach
with my personal masseuse, an
endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof!
He's gone. "OK, you're up,"
the Genie says to the
manager. The manager says, "I
want those two back in the
office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let
your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3:
A priest offered a lift to a
Nun. She got in and crossed
her legs, forcing her gown to
reveal a leg. The priest nearly
had an accident. After controlling the car, he
stealthily slid his hand up her
leg. The nun said,"Father,
remember Psalm 129?" The
priest removed his hand.
But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The
nun once again said, "Father,
remember Psalm 129?" The
priest apologized "Sorry sister
but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his
arrival at the church, the
priest rushed to look up Psalm
129. It said, "Go forth and
seek, further up, you will find
glory."
Moral of the story: If you are
not well informed in your job,
you might miss a great
opportunity.
Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree,
doing nothing all day. A rabbit
asked him,"Can I also sit like
you and do nothing all day
long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit
sat on the ground below the
crow, and rested. ...A fox jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be
sitting and doing nothing, you
must be sitting very high up.
Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a
bull "I would love to be able to
get to the top of that tree,"
sighed the turkey, but I
haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on
my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with
nutrients." The turkey pecked
at a lump of dung and found
that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next
day, after eating some more
dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fourth
night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. Soon he was spotted by
a farmer, who shot the
turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit
might get you to the top, but
it wont keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south
for the winter. It was so cold
the bird froze and fell to the
ground into a large field. While
he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some
dung on him. As the frozen
bird lay there in the pile of
cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was. The dung
was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and
happy, and soon began to sing
for joy. A passing cat heard
the bird singing and came to
investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him
out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on
you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you
out of shit is your friend
3. And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your
mouth shut!
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