Monday, February 25, 2013

Wanna Kill Yourself? Like ME?! :)

Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this.
You come home from school one
day. You've had yet another
horrible day. You're just ready to
give up. So you go to your room,
close the door, and take out that suicide note you've written and
rewritten over and over and over.
You take out those razor blades,
and cut for the very last time. You
grab that bottle of pills and take
them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close
your eyes for the very last time. A
few hours later, your little brother
knocks on your door to come tell
you dinners ready. You don't
answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he
thinks you're asleep. He tells your
mom this. Your mom goes to your
room to wake you up. She notices
something is odd. She grabs the
paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up.
She's screaming your name. Your
brother, so confused, runs to go
tell Dad that "Mommy is crying and
sissy won't wake up." Your dad
runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the
letter to her chest, sitting next to
your lifeless body. It hits him,
what's going on, and he screams.
He screams and throws something
at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom
crawls over to him, and they sit
there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there's an
announcement. The principal tells
everyone about your suicide. It
takes a few seconds for it to sink
in, and once it does, everyone goes
silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think
they were too hard on you. Those
mean popular girls, they think of
all the things they've said to you.
That boy that used to tease you
and call you names, he can't help but hate himself for never telling
you how beautiful you really are.
Your ex boyfriend, the one that
you told everything to, that broke
up with you.. He can't handle it. He
breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your
friends? They're sobbing too,
wondering how they could never
see that anything was wrong,
wishing they could have helped
you before it was too late. And your best friend? She's in shock.
She can't believe it. She knew
what you were going through, but
she never thought it would get
that bad… Bad enough for you to
end it. She can't cry, she can't feel anything. She stands up, walks out
of the classroom, and just sinks to
the floor. Shaking, screaming, but
no tears coming out. It's a few days later, at your
funeral. The whole town came.
Everyone knew you, that girl with
the bright smile and bubbly
personality. The one that was
always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people
talk about all the good memories
they had with you, there were a
lot. Everyone's crying, your little
brother still doesn't know you
killed yourself, he's too young. Your parents just said you died. It
hurts him, a lot. You were his big
sister, you were supposed to
always be there for him. Your best
friend, she stays strong through
the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket
into the ground, she just loses it.
She cries and cries and doesn't
stop for days. It's two years later. The whole
school talks to a counselor/­
therapist at least once a week.
Your teachers all quit their job.
Those mean girls have eating
disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex
boyfriend doesn't know how to
love anymore and just sleeps
around with girls. Your friends all
go into depression. Your best
friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn't succeed like you did,
but she tried… your brother? He
finally found out the truth about
your death. He self harms, he cries
at night, he does exactly what you
did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their
marriage fell apart. Your dad
became a workaholic to distract
himself from your death. Your
mum got diagnosed with
depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so,
but they do. Your choices don't
just affect you. They affect
everyone. Don't end your life, you
have so much to live for. Things
can't get better if you give up. I'm here for absolutely anyone that
needs to talk, no matter who you
are. Even if we've NEVER talked
before, I'm here for you. Yes, I
definitely care.



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